I Want More With Her Than Freinds

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Dear Loveawake,

I am a guy too and I need help!

I had this freindship thing for like a month with a really nice Christchurch woman. We had a really great 1st date and I never expected it would turn into a freinds thing. I wanted more. I kissed her on the 1st date and she liked it. That same evening she started messaging me and wanted to come over and I invited her and it turned into an amazing night. Since then we have been hooking up casually. I like her alot.

About a week ago she bailed out on me. We have had talks about relationships and she did mention me that she didn’t want anything serious. She even asked me if I was dating and such. One night she alerted me that this is going to end soon and that I should prepare myself.

I am going out of my mind right now. I like her a lot and I never wanted this to end. I don’t want to lose her. I want to talk to her and I miss her company because we had nice conversations and we had lots in common and she suddenly became cold and left.

What can I do ? I am planning to wait for about month or so and then contact her and see if she’d be open to restarting things. I really like this woman!!


Dear John,

Thanks for your question.

We’re sure many of our readers can empathize with how you’re feeling, since it’s usually the New Zealand woman who wants a friends arrangement to evolve into something deeper.

You don’t mention how old she is or what’s going on in her life. Is she single? Divorced? Does she have kids? Is she in her 20s, 30s, 40s, older? The reason we ask is because it sounds like her life-stage is factoring into this equation. Obviously she is attracted to you or she wouldn’t have had sex with you. So something else is holding her back.

The key for you is to figure out what that is. Since you didn’t give us a lot of background info we can only guess as to what that might be. Is she focused on school? Is she worried about finances? Is she dealing with an ex? Is she trying to support kids? Is she recently single and just not looking for a relationship right now?

Of course, some of what’s going on could just come down to bad timing unfortunately. Your best bet is to give her some space and then contact her and see if she wants to get together. Maybe do something different like get tickets to a concert, or to the theater, or whatever she might like. The goal is to have fun together, which in turn, may relax her, and make her realize that you have potential beyond the bedroom.

We hope it works out for you. If you have any follow-up questions or thoughts, please leave in the comments’ section below. (You must be Logged In to do so but it’s easy.)

Take care,

THE Loveawake team

If you look for NZ online dating you may also be interested in visiting these pages:

Tauranga Women dating https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/New-Zealand/Bay-of-Plenty/city-of-Tauranga.html?gender=female

Hamilton Women https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/New-Zealand/Waikato/city-of-Hamilton.html?gender=female

Wellington women dating  https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/New-Zealand/Wellington/city-of-Wellington.html?gender=female

Dating Dunedin women  https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/New-Zealand/Otago/city-of-Dunedin.html?gender=female

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